Saved by a disaster

Like the rest of the World, everything unexpectedly changed for me within a matter of weeks. Who knew it would save me from being discovered as a newly transitioned beast on the loose? Certainly not me. The first time I decided to change outside the car and see what would happen when unrestrained, no-one was about to see it. The whole country was told to stay indoors to protect us from a virus, but not even a pandemic can stop a wolf when its time comes. I decided to change behind the bins at the flats nearby. It was just myself and the rats in the darkness, waiting for my mistress to appear. Tonight was special as she was bigger and brighter than usual- another Supermoon. It was a clear night so there was no disguising her beauty as she appeared and illuminated me in her silver glow. I felt the burn begin from deep within. The fire spread outwards as it ripped my body apart and I writhed in pain on the dirty floor on all fours, amongst the rubbish. The rats fled in fear. I felt a scream rising but thrust my hand over my mouth to stifle the sound. I needed to be careful. It was my first time and I didn’t want to alert anyone inside the flats. Everyone was inside these days. It was the law - no-one should be outside. Apart from me, and the rebellious and the ignorant. But I was a wolf and no-one controlled me…

The pain suddenly stopped and I rose up, feeling the full force of the powerful gift coursing through my blood. I could see everything more clearly, smell everything more deeply, and hear the people in their flats clattering about. It was intoxicating being this powerful. I knew I looked different as I felt different… Did I look wolf-like, or could I pass as human? I tested it out by following two star-crossed lovers secretly meeting in the middle of the night. I watched from a distance, two eyes glowing amber in the darkness which they never noticed through their desperate kisses and clumsy embraces. The hairs on my arms pricked up in anticipation. However I let them be, and picked up the malty scent of drug dealers in a dark road nearby instead. I crept over and tracked them as they exchanged money and drugs, before getting in their cars and driving off. I watched their every move intently. No-one else was about and it became deadly silent. I was totally alone with my thoughts in a majestic, powerful body I wasn’t quite sure how to use. My breathing slowed down and time seemed to freeze. I could wait. I let out a low howl. The wolf chooses its prey carefully and does not kill unnecessarily. That was my first lesson in the self-control of my dark desires.

Transitions (Part 2)

Controlling the beast was another matter. Luckily, it could be contained in the car, and I would get back home at dawn before anyone realised I was gone. What a mess I always looked when I woke up, drenched in sweat and naked, my dark long hair all wild and wrapped around my shoulders. However, I was strangely calm and satiated. The calm after the storm. The first time I saw myself in the car mirror I was shocked, but lately I laughed at myself instead. Then it occurred to me one day: I no longer wanted to be stuck inside the car when the time came. I wanted to be free and see what happened. The next time I was going to set the beast free to follow its desires… come what may. A sly smile crossed my lips and my eyes sparkled with wicked delight in the morning sun. The beast was hungry for fun.

New Moon Day

Today I feel sad. I have no energy. The tide is at its lowest. You can practically see all the rocks out to sea that are usually covered, slippery and dark. Treacherous to walk on… I ride it out, pleading headaches and tiredness. It will pass as it always does. People are starting to look at me strangely though. Katy pulled me to her office today for a ‘personal chat’. “How is your well-being?” she asked. “F*cking marvellous,” I wanted to reply. Instead, I just say I am feeling a bit low since my gran passed away. Brilliant - that does the trick! She is pleased and I leave with a bundle of leaflets and a counselling number I am told to call. This is easier than I thought! The wolf-skin I now wear hides me well amongst the crowd. What idiots! I am not depressed at all. I am just waiting for her to call me again: my beautiful full moon.